I think this blog needs to change. A new title maybe? A new direction.. I don’t know.
I think I need a change myself really. I know I do. I keep waiting for that change to come. I can’t do it on my own. But I have nobody really..
There are days I don’t want to get out of bed. There are days I don’t want to be alive. I have nobody I can sit face to face with and talk to. Nobody around me or in my inner circle really understands. How could they? I’m a disabled queer man in his 30’s living with his parents in the south.
The more time goes on, the worse things get. You age, and get older. You don’t feel good inside and out anymore. Society keeps forcing beauty standards down your throat. Look like this, look like that.
Honestly at this point, I feel more alone in the world than I ever have. And I grow more and more bitter with each passing day. Each passing minute, really.
I need to take a step away from things. I don’t know what to anymore. Not now, and maybe not ever. They say “it gets better.” It doesn’t. Not for people like me. I’ll believe it when I see it.
Peace for now.